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said anything, just held out the corsage his mother had handed him before he left.
At the time, he didn t have a clue what he was going to do with it and didn t care what it was. But that
moment, when Belinda s eyes looked from his face to the flower box and back again, he knew he d never
be able to thank his mother enough. The white orchid with purple and burgundy and yellow dripping out of
its center was cradled by baby s breath and wide green leaves. It was probably the size of his hand and way
too big for someone as slight as her, but she wanted it. She was moved by that flower.
She accepted the box and let him pin it on her, the first time he d touched her skin. The first time he
made her gasp with just a graze of his fingers. The first taste of what would become an addiction.
He wasn t stupid. He knew why she had no date for prom. She d waited for Kyle to ask her. It was the
reason Lucas hadn t asked her himself. By that time, he d come to grips with the fact that he  liked her  a
lame kid phrase to explain what couldn t be handled and wasn t prepared to be rejected by her. Their odd,
tense friendship was enough for him. Until he d touched her.
They d stayed on the swings for a while, watching the sun set, quiet until the cars stopped driving past
the small park. It was easy to be quiet together then. They were accustomed to it. Belinda was a lot for
silence back then. She never talked about what went on in her home or why her parents were so rarely
there. She especially wouldn t talk about the yelling he heard late at night. But she let him see her
drawings. Let him see her projects from her industrial design classes. Even Kyle didn t get to see those.
She did finally start talking, asking him what he d tell his inquisitive mother about his night. They d
come up with stories to tell about what they ate and music they heard. Her stories of what happened to her
less-than-favorite popular kids could still make him laugh. That was when they d decided to head to the
lake deeper in the park to skip rocks. He d taken her hand to help her walk in the heels she was unused to.
He didn t let go when they reached the lake, though. Instead he d used that grip to pull her close and dance.
To this day, he didn t understand the compulsion. There was no music, no thought. She just looked
beautiful, her hand in his& It seemed the natural thing to do. The same way it was natural for her palm to
slide between his jacket and dress shirt to hold his side and sigh when she laid her head on his shoulder. He
was lost in her scent and the glow of her hair and the sound of crickets around the lake. It was just as
natural for him to brush his lips against her neck. Once, twice, then a third, firmer time when she tightened
her hold on him.
No one ever asked for anything. In fact, nowhere in his memory did anyone say anything at all. Those
first kisses simply continued, up her neck to her jaw, when she dipped her head and found his lips with her
own petal-soft ones. The kisses never stopped. Not when her tongue reached out to touch his. Not when
somehow, sometime later, he lay her down on the grass near the water s edge and stretched out above her.
Their hands touched each other, pulling clothing free, unwrapping layers to the skin beneath.
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All or Nothing
Her breasts were so sensitive when he pulled the satin down over them, she moaned. He hadn t been
able to touch them enough or taste them enough. Her fingers had speared into his hair while he sucked
them, her legs tight around his waist, her skirt rucked up around her hips. She d cried out and shuddered
against his mouth, gasping through her first shocking orgasm. That was when there was absolutely no
going back. She d needed, and so had he.
It wasn t his proudest moment, his inability to be gentle when he took her, but she d taken him just as
much that first time. He slid into her, startled by the hot slickness, shattered by the wet pressure all along
his length. Her long legs wound around him, pushing him deeper, past the barrier of her virginity with
neither preparation nor tenderness. He d groaned and so had she. He didn t know if it made him a bastard
that it never occurred to him to stop.
He pulled back, only to surge in again. And again. And again.
When she pushed her hips back against him, he grew wild. He slid his arms under her shoulders to
hold her tighter, to thrust harder. She answered by widening her legs and arching her back until her breasts
were being chafed by his stiff tuxedo shirt pleats. He d stared down at her curved neck, watching her tiny
black ribbon bow tickle her throat with each surge. And when she cried out, he knew he d given her
pleasure. He d given it and taken it, burned with it. Been branded by it.
To anyone else, the idea of sex on the ground in a park was probably crude and disrespectful. To
him& to him there was nothing more meaningful.
Which was probably why he d ruined it.
Lucas rounded the corner to his street now, whistling to the dog, whose tongue was lolling around
happily. He frowned to himself, thinking back as he pulled the keys to the building from his pocket.
Belinda had probably thought he d say something wonderful or kind afterward, but waking out of the spell,
the first thing he d said was the worst thing he could have uttered:  You saved yourself for Kyle, didn t
you?
Sometimes, he thought back and pictured himself saying about anything else.  Come with me to
Massachusetts or  I love you might have been wise. No, his inherent jealousy of her choosing Kyle over
him for years reared its ugly head and made him question the gift he d been given.
She d flinched like she d been slapped. Then her dark eyes turned hard, angry.  In my mind, she d
said, making sure every word would stab and rip him, her voice steady and clear.  It was Kyle.
She rolled away, adjusting her clothes back in place. She refused to look at him, refused to
acknowledge his attempts at apology. He didn t blame her. His attempts then were no better than they were
now. In fact, they were probably worse.
 What if you re pregnant? he d asked, finally getting her attention.
 Then I ll get rid of it, she d replied, cold as a snake. That was the only thing he d ever disliked
about her. No one said things they should regret like Belinda did. She went right for a guy s balls and
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Dee Tenorio
smiled while she did it.  Go away, College Boy. Go to your smart school and your perfect, brilliant coeds.
You got what you wanted.
 Are you going to tell me if you are? he d asked, ignoring her venom.
But he hadn t been able to ignore it all. She d saved one spiteful word for last.  No.
That word haunted him for years. Hell, it haunted him now. Made him break out in a sweat. Made him
want to hate her as much as he loved her. But he never asked and she never said. Not when he came back
from school. Not when Kyle got them reluctantly speaking again. Never, not once in twelve years had he
ever asked. And she never told.
He arrived on his doorstep and found a crushed white box.
He stopped dead, but the pup sniffed and whined at it, shuffling it with his paw.
Anger flickered in Lucas s mind. It felt like fire, a small flame that licked at the back of his brain.
Crouching slowly, he lifted the lid and found what he expected. Pieces of lace& shredded. Sliced. Threads
everywhere. So was the stain of coffee& all over the pieces. That s when the flame turned into a
conflagration. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]